 ***PLEASE NOTE: A Blu-ray 3D disc is only compatible with 3D Blu-ray players.*** Tagline: Are you a patriot or a vampire? The blood-pumping action and special effects in this edgy, action-packed thriller from filmmakers Tim Burton and Timur Bekmambetov (director of Wanted) are even more spectacular on Blu-ray 3D! Included in this 3-disc set is an exclusive graphic novel prequel about the origins of vampires in America, a featurette about the axe-fighting choreography, and much more. Abraham Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) becomes history's greatest hunter of the undead as he sets out to pulverize the bloodthirsty killers one by one in an epic fight for vengeance and survival! Storyline: At the age of 9, Abraham Lincoln witnesses his mother being killed by a vampire, Jack Barts. Some 10 years later, he unsuccessfully tries to eliminate Barts but in the process makes the acquaintance of Henry Sturgess who teaches him how to fight and what is required to kill a vampire. The quid pro quo is that Abe will kill only those vampires that Henry directs him to. Abe relocates to Springfield where he gets a job as a store clerk while he studies the law and kills vampires by night. He also meets and eventually marries the pretty Mary Todd. Many years later as President of the United States, he comes to realize that vampires are fighting with the Confederate forces. As a result he mounts his own campaign to defeat them. Written by garykmcd Reviewer's Note: Reviewed by Casey Broadwater on October 25, 2012 -- Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Read that again: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Now, what do you expect? A cinematic civics lesson? A solemn Glory-style war epic? A gravely faithful biopic of America's bearded, slave-freeing 16th president? Yeah, I didn't think so. The title suggests something entirely different—gory, ax-swinging violence, campy horror-meets-history revisionism, and a wink-wink take on good ol' 6'4" Honest Abe, the POTUS who's come closest to approaching mythic, tall-tale status in our national consciousness. No one's going to confuse Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter with the upcoming Steven Spielberg Lincoln drama, and complaining that the film isn't "historically accurate enough" totally misses the point, akin to dismissing 300 because it grossly distorts the real Battle of Thermopylae. Hold onto your war horses, though. I'm no Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter apologist. There are plenty of other criticisms that can be leveled at the film, criticisms that stem from the disconnect between what the over-the-top title promises and what the final finished product actually delivers. If I had to boil it down to one issue, it's that the movie—which was written by Seth Grahame-Smith, the author of the novel it's based on—doesn't go far enough into history-overturning, vamp-slaying ridiculousness. It mistakenly tries to retain some semblance of seriousness, when it probably should've gone all-out absurd. Grahame-Smith and director Timur Bekmambetov approach the film like a comic book superhero movie of sorts, complete with a vengeance-inspired origin story. We open in 1818, when a boyhood Abraham—later to be played by young Liam Neeson-lookalike Benjamin Walker—tries to stop his black best friend, William, from being sold into slavery. Plantation owner and secret vampire Jack Barts (Martin Csokas) doesn't take kindly to the intervention, firing Abe's dad and breaking into the family shack later that night to suck Abe's mom's blood. She wastes away and dies, and though Abe isn't sure exactly what he saw that night, he's committed to getting revenge by killing Barts. He gets his chance years later, shooting Barts down by the docks, but the ghoul isn't phased by bullets and overpowers the terrified Mr. Lincoln. Thankfully, professional vampire tracker Henry Sturges (Dominic Cooper, The Duchess) happens to be lurking nearby. He fights off Barts—who escapes into the night—and takes Lincoln in, offering to teach him the ways of vampire hunting. Cue the obligatory training montage, in which our lanky hero learns ax-based martial arts and fells a tall oak in a single chop. Lincoln heads off to Springfield, Illinois with Sturges' blessing, gets a job working for shopkeeper Joshua Speed (Jimmi Simpson), and—when he isn't studying law—moonlights as a killer of bloodsuckers, taking out blacksmiths and pastors and pharmacists, hoping to one day track down his lifelong nemesis. The rest of the relentless and overlong film gives us an abbreviated version of Lincoln's life—his wooing of Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), his political rise to power, the death of his son, the start of the Civil War—with the expected addendum that machinating vampires play an influential behind-the-scenes part in all of these events. Barts is merely an underling, and the real threat is revealed to be Adam (Rufus Sewell)—the ancient progenitor of North America's vampires—who lives on a New Orleans plantation with his sister, Vadoma (Erin Wasson), and who has pledged his allegiance to the president of the Confederacy, offering his immortal minions as foot soldiers for the South. Why? Because...duh...vampires use slaves for food. (This makes sense—let's face it—but the film feels uncomfortably exploitive and almost nonchalant about the issue of slavery.) To save the nation, Lincoln has to round up all the silver his armies can muster and transport it to Gettysburg, so Union troops can melt it down and use it as ammo against the literal legions of the undead. If this sounds at all thrilling, let me temper your expectations. The film has a fatally bad case of split-tonality disorder. On one side, Benjamin Walker's meekly inert performance earnestly tries to honor the stoic dignity and grace of the iconic president who reunited a nation; on the other, this is supposed to be Abraham Lincoln: Mother-Avenging Vampire Hunter. If any film screams for kitschy comedy and ironic winking and gratuitous arterial spurts of gore, it's this one! This is a movie that needs a Bruce Campbell, yukking it up with an oversized ax, an off-kilter top-hat, and a glued- on beard. It needs an ass-kicking, one-liner-spewing Lincoln with a maniacal fire in his eyes. It needs Deal Alive-levels of blood-spilling, taking it from gross to cover your eyes gross to hilarious gross. Instead, Vampire Hunter is so damningly middle-of-the-road. Lukewarm. Safe. Big budget glossy. CGI-addled. Audience-tested and committee-approved. Like Snakes on a Plane, it simply doesn't live up to the potential of its wacky, double-take-inducing title. If you've seen any of Timur Bekmambetov's other films—Wanted, Night Watch, Day Watch—you know the Russian director has an eye for stylized action sequences, of which Vampire Hunter has more than a few. There's a fast-paced duke-out atop a steaming locomotive. An Abe-versus-multiple-vamps brawl in a plantation manor. Even a stampede chase sequence, where horses are alternately ridden and used as weapons. The fight choreography is impressively fluid at times, if you can get past the herky-jerky editing, which ramps up and slows down the footage with hyperactive abandon, but this is all empty spectacle, meant to distract us from the fact that the film is essentially riffing on a single joke—Abe slaying vampires with an ax—that grows increasingly stale over the 105-minute runtime. You might be passably entertained if you're okay with check-your-brain-at-the-ticket-counter moviemaking, but those hoping for genuinely thrilling historical revisionism will be underwhelmed. Who'd've thought a film called Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter could be so dull and routine? This tepid exercise in injecting the supernatural into the historical delivers the usual blockbuster action sequences—think a period-piece version of the Underworld films—but fails to fully exploit the promise of its kooky central premise. The film is simply too straight-faced for its own good. (Hypothetically, I like to imagine Ben Franklin: Succubus Slayer would've made a better film.) Vampire Hunter makes a solid turn on Blu-ray, with a strong-if-overstylized picture and killer sound, but I'd advise a rental over a purchase. [CSW] -3.7- The 3D added 0.5 points to the score so instead of 3.2 it got a 3.7. There are many things about this film that will hinder its depth of appeal. First of all is the title. That in of itself will be enough to turn off history buffs and anyone who takes themselves too seriously. Secondly, the highly stylized, almost animated feel. Not going to appeal to those who feel the need to talk incessantly about how "fake" something looks. But despite those things, I really enjoyed the movie and it wasn't at all what I expected. I went into it expected black comedy with plenty of bad CGI and corny dialogue. And while there is a bit of that, this really isn't the laugh fest I expected it to be... in a really good way. I was very pleasantly surprised at how much of a plot there really was, and I really enjoyed the combination of vampire lore and "history," as it were. I am glad I added to my collection even if it was only that the 3D price got too low to resist. Cast Notes: Benjamin Walker (Abraham Lincoln), Dominic Cooper (Henry Sturges), Anthony Mackie (Will Johnson), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Mary Todd Lincoln), Rufus Sewell (Adam), Marton Csokas (Jack Barts), Jimmi Simpson (Joshua Speed), Joseph Mawle (Thomas Lincoln), Robin McLeavy (Nancy Lincoln), Erin Wasson (Vadoma), John Rothman (Jefferson Davis), Cameron M. Brown (Willie Lincoln), Frank Brennan (Senator Jeb Nolan), Lux Haney-Jardine (Young Abraham Lincoln), Curtis Harris (Young Will). IMDb Rating (10/22/12): 6.1/10 from 33,248 users
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